Thursday, October 21, 2010

Man Food #1 - Makin' do... with clams...

I am a man. I cook for myself. I eat man food.

Now -- I'd like to consider myself a modern man. A man that cooks for himself and eats well. A man that takes care of his own home and himself. It's the ideal now, is it not? Personally, I don't even think the "ideal" should exist. I think being able to take care of yourself completely is what constitutes being a "man" in the first place.

Cooking. I like cooking. I'm even beginning to love it and I want to get better at it. I have a decent palette and some creativity and it usually gets me by. My Men's Health magazine cookbook -- a binder I have filled with recipes accumulated from 5 years worth of subscription, helps out too (Each issue usually has 3-5 recipes). I find that more often than not, I'll open my refrigerator and I'll make do with whatever I have and whip something up... like a fucking man.

I went home last weekend to do laundry like I usually do and my Aunt tells me she bought me a whole bag of clams... Why? No reason. She just said they had a great deal at Costco so she grabbed them. Now when I look into my freezer, I see my two rib-eye steaks, two sea bass filets, a quart of ice cream, 3 frosty beer mugs, and now this ginormous bag of clams.

I put a dent in the bag tonight. Here's what I made:

Clam/Chorizo Hobo Packs:
This particular "hobo pack" (just a tin foil pack of food that you toss on the grill like a fucking man) was a recipe in Men's Health. I just took it and whipped up my own version and made do with what I had -- like a fucking... you get it. I didn't have Chorizo, but I did have Polish Keilbasa sausage that I was going to use to make my friend's recipe for a Hungarian-stew-potato pot thingy, but like a man, I said "Fuck that!" and used it to make this instead.

What I made-do with (Makes 2 packs):
-Ginormous bag of clams. I used 20.
-4 cloves garlic - crushed
-half of a white onion - diced
-2 "stalks"? of green onion - chopped
-2 tbsp of butter
-basil flakes
-Rolling Rock beer
-Keilbasa sausage
-tin foil
-baby green salad
-mashed potatoes

I did the usual, soaked and cleaned the clams, chopped up the ingredients, and had a beer while I was at it.

Step by step:


I fucking chopped these like a man.

As a man, I didn't like chopping the sausage.

Make an aluminum foil pouch and toss in 10 clams - like a man. I'm serious, TOSS, don't daintily place.

Toss in everything else. I tossed in 1 tbsp of butter, 2 cloves of crushed garlic, salt, pepper, the sausage, and the onions. After everything, pour in some beer! Close up the pouch tightly!

Now, like a man, throw the pouches as hard as you can on the grill! No, just kidding. Just gently place them on the grill. Don't let the pouch rip thus letting all the beer leak out -- PARTY FOUL. I left mine on the grill for 10 minutes on high heat with the cover closed. Clams came out perfectly cooked. It probably varies for everyone 10-15 minutes.

The recipe originally calls for the pouch to have cubes of raw potato in there with it all. But I had a container of mashed potatoes from Gelson's market so yeah. As for the baby green salad, I like to do the good ol' olive oil and balsamic toss.

This is what it looks like when it's done and a man is about to eat it. Enjoy with the rest of the beer.

All in all, it was pretty awesome. I do however see why the recipe calls for Chorizo sausage. It was missing a bit of spice, a bit of MANLY kick. Chorizo would've brought it home. Keilbasa is just way too mild and mellow. For the second pouch, I used white wine instead of beer and it actually turned out better. It had a sweeter aftertaste. I'd also recommend squeezing the lemon wedge into the pouch BEFORE cooking. It balances it all out better that way.


Christopher said...

kick ass!

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

This entire thing was pretty epic. I'm not even sure I was paying attention to what you made, but I do know that you did it like a man.

I loved when you tossed, and didn't daintily place. Also, when you disliked chopping the sausage.

I feel like I would've enjoyed this meal immensely.