Friday, January 22, 2010

Fears and rain + 1st Sample "Daniel" story...

Rain...

Hey all,

Hope you guys are having a good week. I've had an "okay" week. Los Angeles is pouring. It's been rainstorm after rainstorm consistently for the past week! Certain neighborhoods are flooding and the hill people are experiencing mudslides. No biggie though. Whenever we do get extreme weather here, it's just something that goes on in the background amongst the hustle of big city life. People continue to strive towards their own pursuit of happiness. All the rain means to me is a free car wash, and fresh snow in the ski resorts. I love it. The local mountains have about 5-7 feet of fresh POWDER snow. I planned to go the past two days, including today, but haven't been able to because of not so ideal weather conditions. Apparently the local resorts are experiencing 50-70 mile an hour winds with "blizzard-like" conditions. So, it wouldn't be so fun. I'm sure I'm going tomorrow though. The storms are supposed to pass by tomorrow night, and I want to try to get some pow turns in.

Picture of some lucky dude that lives locally near the resort (Cue song: "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms):



The Road Ahead...


Hmm. The road to life. Like I said above, it's mostly about people striving for their own pursuit of happiness. Nothing else matters to some, and you can get away with that way of living and thinking in our society today. It breeds us all to get materialistic. But what I have just come to notice lately, not that I never knew before, there are people that are completely content with just getting by. There's nothing wrong with that either. They're content with providing for their families, and having "just enough", and it's noble. I'm not trying to knock it, but to me, life gives the opportunity for so much more in my eyes. There should be ambition, there should be roads less taken, that should be... taken more. I'm not trying to describe myself, but I just noticed the lack of "bigger things/goals" in other people's lives ltely. Girl "J" for example. Maybe it's from the lack of thorough, and semi-deep conversations we've had, but when I ask of what she wants to do in life, or of her ambitions, she sticks with the "I don't knows". And to me, I'm attracted to driven, focused, ambitious, strong women. We'll see what happens with her. That brings me to the meat of what's been going on in my head:

Fears...
I've come across another crossroad, that just emphasizes how big of a crossroad the one I was at previously was. lol. I pretty much took away from the previous one about a month or so ago, that I have to get started on my dreams and goals. This most recent crossroads just reiterated that point. I HAVE TO INITIATE. As I was doing one of my daily rituals and reading Men's Health magazine, I came across their listing of "Wishlist" products. You know a list of Cars, electronics, clothes, houses, and etc. I looked through them and thought to myself, "One day, I'll be able to get that." And then the immediate thought following was, "Where is this confidence coming from?" Because it's true, I have this subtle sense of confidence lurking in the background of whatever it is I do. I am well aware of capabilities, and I'm not being delusional, but it really makes me think of my future. I have all these dreams and ambitions of being successful, and it feels so close. I see all these things I want, and I feel they are actually accessible, attainable, and I don't know why I have so much confidence in that. It feels like some destiny, and I don't know what to make of it.
BUT, there are times I feel a sense of urgency and panic like, "You need to do it now! It's getting too late!" Like the Universe is yelling at me. It's like spurts of sudden desperation, and it's un-easing as hell. What the hell am I supposed to make of it? I agree with the stars though, there is an underlying urgency. The days, minutes, and seconds are flying by and I should buckle down and take advantage of every one. I think the pursuit of happiness (defined by ourselves) is the driving force in our lives. Mine is to succeed in telling people stories. Happiness to me is NOT money. But Happiness to me is being able to live freely, unbound by restrictions such as the lack of money. I want to do things, go places, all as I please and to my heart's content. That way, the only thing we fight against in our lives is Time. Ambition, get some.

Here's a chunk of a story I'm working on. I don't know if it's going to just be a short yet, but I'm writing it as I would a novel. It's only a couple of days old and it's not finished in the least. It's completely unedited.:


The beaten and weathered white pickup truck trudged to a squeaky stop on 6th street. The sound of rushing air through the crack of the window slowly silenced and were replaced by the sounds of MacArthur Park. The old man's cracked, sun-baked, farm hands released their grip on the steering wheel and worked the truck's gears. He didn't want to wake the sleeping young man, a mere boy in his eyes, in the passenger seat. Instead, he sat quietly and waited. He fixated his old eyes onto his own worn hands. In his years of experience, life ran by for many, but it walked by slowly for people like him. People who had to live day by day, for the next day. There was nothing else. Nothing but providing for the next day. He had lived his years working, striving to survive and provide for his own. He wasn't sure he succeeded either. After all these years of providing for the next generation, it suddenly felt futile to him as he looked over at the boy in the seat next to him. The silent camaraderie between them reverberated as the old man thought, "This boy. Will struggle."

Due to the sudden calmness, the young man awoke in the surreal, in between dreams. Besides the fog in his mind his conscience fought through, his whole situation was surreal to him. His goal, motivations, everything; was in between dreams.

The sweat from his brow dripped, salting his lips. He opened his eyes, feeling the sickly warmth of the sun and the sweaty shirt that stuck to him. He must've slept all the way from San Diego. He needed it. He looked over to the old man who was staring at his hands. Daniel spoke, "Thank you for the ride." (In Spanish). The old man looked up and nodded. Daniel had made it. He was now in Los Angeles, to try to do what many try to do.

2 comments:

Jeanette said...

I hope you finally make it out to boarding soon! I feel like we've already talked about most of this, but I really like where the story is headed!

Also I totally agree about being attracted to people with goals, you have to strive for something, or you'll do nothing!

Manju said...

i like the beginning, it really builds up anticipation about what's going to happen now in LA.

anyway, hellooooo there! thanks for following :)