Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Inner Monologue...

So I used to come to this cafe pretty frequently to write, study, and eat. I haven't been here for quite a while. It's a great cafe in central LA too. Quaint, with nice, mellow decor, and open until almost 2 AM. Lots of writers/creative types hang out here to work. Hence, me. You'll walk in and see the glowing screens of about 15-20 Apple laptops reflecting on blank or concentrated faces. Anyways, it inspired me to write a little of my inner monologue going through my head.



My inner monologue:

"So here I sit. I wonder if I’m a cliché. A walking cliché. Is using the phrase “A walking cliché” a cliché? If it is, I must be such a cliché for using clichés. I think I am a cliché for sure though. If I saw myself sitting here in this café trying to write a screenplay, I’d even call myself a cliché. It’s sad but I do find this, sitting with my latop, this coffee sipping, and blank staring, strangely comfortable and fitting; like a nice pair of corduroys. Yes, I'm pretty sure I am a walking cliché because I’m an aspiring screenwriter sitting in a Los Angeles café with a blank page of script on my laptop screen. I’ve been sitting here for the past forty-five minutes and all I’ve written is “FADE IN:”. That’s not much. Not much at all. This quaint little café is pretty amusing though. I’m sitting around ten other people trying to write the next big movie that will never get made because ninety-nine percent of submitted screenplays are terrible. We’re just a bunch of future failures sitting, drinking overpriced coffee, and leeching off of the free internet here. I wonder how many of us are poor and starving and are actually trying to make a living writing. "Starving artists" as they say. I hope none of us. The coffee is pretty expensive here. So I guess the eleven of us are poor, starving, future failure, walking cliché, caffeine addicts getting our daily fix. And I also guess the attraction of writing in cafés might be the watching of social interactions, and the occasional eavesdropping of conversations. The usual people watching, a free spectator sport. Maybe all of that influences us and goes into our screenplays. Maybe that’s why ninety-nine percent of our screenplays don’t get bought because we put down the usual un-genuine and bland conversations that are common in cafés! Maybe that’s why out of only nine thousand or so current Writer’s Guild members, only half are actually employed at a time! Maybe that’s why most screenwriter’s aren’t famous, or filthy rich! Maybe that’s why people don’t even know the name of the person who wrote the movie their watching! Maybe… My God, I just realized my aspiration of being a successful screenwriter is so extremely far fetched. Selling a screenplay is like winning the fucking lottery after you factor in your competition of waiters/screenwriters, gardeners/screenwriters, janitors/screenwriters, all the graduates of elite film schools around the world that move to Hollywood every year, the former stripper turned successful Oscar winning screenwriter, and etcetera! Am I having a panic attack? What does this all mean? My one dream can go unaccomplished my whole life? No! I have to think positive, practice what that book “The Secret” taught me! Think positive, think positive. I’m not panicking. It must be writer’s block. That’s it. Just some simple writer’s block. What is writer’s block anyways? It’s just a mental obstacle. Just poof it away and climb over it! Think positive! You can do it! That’s right, I’m a writer’s block ninja, baby... Well apparently the caffeine just kicked in."

Finally, I got some writing done. Writing this was pretty fun. And no worries, the despair going on at the end was a bit exaggerated and dramatic. I don't really feel all that worried about my future as a screenwriter. Oh, and I think some of you may have wondered about that "stripper turned successful Oscar winning screenwriter" part. It's true. Diablo Cody - the writer of the movie "Juno".

3 comments:

The Trav monster said...

Hey Brent!
Good monologue! Gives good insight into the life and times of a young aspiring writer. All those poor artists out there... The world is cruel sometimes. Hitting the people who are the most vulnerable the hardest. I know you have something to fall back on, but I hope that you keep writing! Be the writing ninja!!!!

Meg said...

Great monologue. Oh the joys of being a young writer...

Anne. said...

Found your blog off of 20SB and I must say this was a great read. It's always fun getting a brief glimpse of someone's thoughts.