Friday, December 12, 2008

Coming of age?

So I was sitting at my desk cruising facebook and realized almost all of my friends that are my age, the very ones that I graduated high school with... are no longer in school. Back in June, everyone had started to post new photo albums of "Graduation" and etc. Has time gone by that fast? Am I really still in community college? Wow. Am I REALLY 22? Is it really going to be 5 years - half a decade - since I've graduated high school? It makes me a little sad because I haven't done anything significant with my life yet. No "legit" job, no degree, and no real life experience. I'm a little behind... but I always have been in certain ways. Then I realized how I'm okay with it all. Okay with lagging behind the others, because I'm doing things my own way, and my life is really - that unique. From the time I was raised by my Aunt, to my childhood, to a lot of things. I've always been a little different. A good different though. An "Out-of-the-box-view" kind of different. So I realize now that even with the majority of my friends on their way to the dreaded, stereotypical, cadence of society's "model" life - the 9 to 5, and the lack of time... I go on because I know I'm going to make the most of my life and always do things a little differently... A good different.

On another note, I feel like getting more personal about the things I do in my life. I never really remember how I meant for my blog to be a little night-life oriented coupled with my trials and tribulations. Maybe I've kept that blog description honest, but maybe I haven't. I don't feel like I have, but I guess what I'm going to talk about blends the two - Nightlife/Brent's trials and tribulations - together nicely.

In the past two weeks, I've been getting some attention. It's been nice. My best friend that I always go out with is a real "player" I guess you can call him. He gets a lot of action too. But of course, I wouldn't associate with a guy like him if he was a total asshole like I just made him sound. Let me explain. He's not a "player" in the traditional douche-bag sense of the word, he's actually a genuine, nice guy. Which is exactly why, he attracts girls. And he doesn't get "action" in the traditional d-bag sense either. He doesn't deceive/manipulate them, and he doesn't give them any false expectations. I guess you can say between him and the girls, it's all mutually casual. And for a guy like him who's not looking for a serious relationship, I guess he's in a great place in his life at the moment.

Anyways, I met two girls in one week, and both within the nightlife scene. I don't see myself as a player like my friend, because honestly, I don't think I could hack all the attention. Whenever he mentions a girl nowadays, I literally don't know which one he's talking about anymore. I'm a pretty confident guy, and I've got some charm, but I don't go around the whole bar trying to talk "game" or hit on girls all night. I just have a good time with friends, and if someone comes along, nice. And that's what happened. The first girl was on Tuesday night at a bar. We'll call her "N". She was the friend of a girl Josh was meeting with, and of course I got dragged along. N turned out to be a very pretty redhead that was actually a couple years older than me. When we danced a little bit, it turned out she was a couple inches taller than me also. Although I think she was wearing heels. (To fast forward), by the end of the night, we were making out in my car. I got the vibe that she wanted to keep things casual, (as did I) so we exchanged phone numbers. It was a confidence booster also, since she was older, taller, and also a different race(white). Race doesn't matter to me at all, and I mention it only because it was just nice to know that it's the same with others.
A week later, I met the other girl which I'll call "R", at a party. Now I've met her two previous times at two previous parties, so apparently we're part of the same circle of friends. And everytime she sees me, she seems completely smitten by me. I don't mind at all of course, but it never escalated beyond that until that party. We were having a good time, and having a conversation outside of the party until she kissed me. Making out ensued. So by this time I had confidence pouring out of my pores (still do at the moment) because both girls now have come on to me first. From R - I got the vibe that this was just a "friendly", "casual" kiss. I totally agreed with the vibe too.

So finally the point of all this... Since I've been experiencing so much "play" lately, and seeing my friend be a "player", I feel like I'm getting sucked into "the game". I don't think I want to play it though. I feel like I'm in the position where I totally could, and be "good" at it, and turn out to be THAT GUY. You know? But I honestly think I may be too sensitive. Not trying to sound sensitive or anything, but really. It may just all be too casual. It just makes things a little less... real.


saveyoursoul said...

I totally think this all the time. I'm 22 and I still have some school left-- everyone else has moved on to their "grown up" jobs and I'm still lingering and I don't mind it one bit. I play devil vs angel all the time. Lingering between wanting a relationship and not.

Just do whats best for you :)

saveyoursoul said...


Rhaingel said...

I have an award for you. Check out my blog because you are nominated. :)

Twenty-Something said...

I've always been a fan of not peaking too early. Who wants the best point in their life to be then they are 22? NO ONE! Because if your peaking now, its all down hill from there.

Enjoy the steady ride to the top. Your friends will be jealous come another 5-10 years!