So I met girl J's mother last night. It was sort of random, but nonetheless, it feels like I've "met the parents".
J is directing/acting in a church drama skit. It's acted out physically to a certain song, and she asked me to help out with the sound production. It's just a small music editing job that I know how to do with the film editing experience I have. So there I was, at their practice last night and I met a few of her church friends. Her mother is in the skit too, so I ended up meeting her. She seemed nice.
I wanted to see J over the weekend, but the performance is supposed to be next Tuesday on the 8th, so practice has been scheduled pretty much for the rest of the week. I'm supposed to drop by for Friday's practice though. I already did a rough edit cut of the music. It's an epic song by Lifehouse, called "Everything". After practice though, she wanted to have coffee. It was sort of the first time where she wanted to hang out with me. I'm starting to sort of pick up on her demeanor and mannerisms. They're all in the "subtle" to "shy" categories. Endearing in a way. She first had to drop off her little sister and mother at home, so the plan was for me to follow her in my car. As we were pulling out of the driveway, she called and said "My mom wants to come, so I guess we'll just go straight to Starbucks?" "Okay." I responded. lol. I was sort of "bleh" about it, but I could tell by the way she said it that J didn't want her there either. It seemed like her Mom just sort of invited herself. I guess I could understand, this would be Mom's opportunity to see who this guy was that her daughter was seeing.
Well, I was my usual charming self. Through the use of some Spanish 1 level vocabulary and her Mom's broken english, we concluded that I do in fact LOVE Mexican food, that I don't smoke/"fumar", and that apparently in J's household, I've been known as "Pan", the Spanish word for "bread". lol. How? Well, they'd ask J who she's seeing, and she'd tell them my name, Brent. They'd hear Brent as "bread". "What? You're seeing bread/pan?" But right there in Starbucks, J's Mom officially upgraded my name to "El pan dulce" which means "The sweet bread". Haha! So all in all, it was actually a pleasant coffee sitting. Me and J of course had our time and our own conversations especially with the language barrier between her mother and us. I did notice this time around though, that J is pretty in to me. I could tell that if I were to break things off now for whatever reason, it'd hurt her feelings. It's not that that scares me or anything, it's just... something now, you know what I mean? It's still pretty simple, but I don't know... I met her Mom! Sort of an "unofficial" meeting and stuff, but still, I met a parent! If this coffee counted as a date, it would only be the 4th date. I'm not worried nor am I doing a typical guy freak out thing, but in my mind it's like a, "Damn. It's something already."
*Overly ghetto-sounding question* Y'ALL FEEL ME?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Recording Studio...
-Left to right: Bryan, Tom, Josh, Jason-
-Me on the left after only 2 hours of sleep the night before.-
So as you all know, I'm managing a rock band that consists of three of my closest friends. If you're a newcomer and didn't know, you do now. YOU'RE WELCOME. Just kidding. The band is called, Morrownow and I'm most likely going to talk about them every so often as it's a time full of excitement and progress for them and myself. I've known Josh, the "frontman", lead vocalist, and guitarist, since I was 8 or 9 years old. We both can't figure out exactly when we started being friends, so we just say age 8. He's one of my closest friends, and in my small category of "best" friends. The drummer, Bryan, I've known since I was 14, a good 9 years. He's also a best friend. The other vocalist, and lead guitarist, is Jason. I've known him since I was about 15. Also a best friend. So as you can imagine, my motivation to work and "make things happen" for them is pretty high and it just exists by default. It's pretty cool being able to hang out with your best buds and help them try to succeed in the music biz. Tom the bassist, I've only known since June of 2009 when he joined the band. He's a cool guy.
I guess I'm saying all of this just to reiterate a bit of what I'm up to lately. Also to show how unique and fun of a situation it is. It's pretty fun and exciting. We've accomplished so much in three months than most bands do in years. The things we've accomplished don't seem like a big deal, but it actually is in the whole scheme of things. Especially when everyone has their respective personal lives with work, school, girlfriends, family, and etc. We've gotten a lot of things done in a mere few months.
Things accomplished:
1. Two professional photoshoots. For free. How? My smooth talking on Craigslist. lol.
2. Networking on multiple websites.
3. Video blogs.
4. Band blog and website(to be upgraded).
5. This past weekend, recorded their first 3-song EP!
These are all things that are still underway. Not much traffic on the band's blog, but that's because they haven't played their first show as Morrownow yet. But now that they have a 3-song EP that'll be done by FRIDAY, I can actually do band manager stuff and get them shows! I'll have a demo to work with! Finally a chance to try to make stuff happen. So yeah, that's been on my mind lately. Since they're all experienced musicians having been in multiple bands and such already, it's not a big deal performing. It's performing together and for the first time as Morrownow that will be the test. Not really a test, but maybe more on the level of a quiz. Josh, Jason, and Bryan were a band for a solid year/year and a half back in 2004 out of high school, so they already have that history. After the first show, the plan is to continuously perform around Hollywood, build a fan base, and improve their performances. In the meantime, I'll look into getting them some radio playtime starting with local college radios and independent stations. We've got to get some music critics from LA WEEKLY to write about us too. And in the midst of all of that, I'll keep producing videos with them so it'll be more engaging for the fans to see the band behind-the-scenes and being themselves. There's been 7 videos already actually, they're really stacking up. There'll be 8 by the end of next weekend by the way. I'm going to make a music video using one of the tracks from the completed demo which I'll get a hard copy of Friday, and I'll cut in footage from the video taken over the weekend of the band in the recording studio. If you'd like to listen to the music, stay tuned over the weekend! And if you'd like a CD... Let me know and I'll send you one! It'll be a while (maybe a month or so) until we start producing official CDs, but in the meantime I can send you a regular burned CD (Autographed? lol). Maybe I should do some sort of blog contest later on. Or maybe I should just be awesome and send it to you for free anyway...
I'll leave you all with a less-than-2-minutes sneak preview video I made of Morrownow in the recording studio. I make an appearance in it halfway through also -- that's motivation right there to watch!
(Watching Bryan, the guy speaking in the beginning of the video, it makes me laugh everytime because if you've seen him in the photoshoot and all, or just him in general, his style can look very "hood" or like some shady character. But when you listen to him speak and catch his mannerisms, you can just tell he's a nice, sweet, optimistic dude, and he is! Which is why he's one of my best buds.) Enjoy.
Sneak Peek at Morrownow in the Recording Studio from Morrownow on Vimeo.
Josh looking comparatively similar to a bust of James Brown. A sign?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Is the best policy...
I'll be honest.
Thursday night, I went to record Morrownow's last band practice on video before they head to the recording studio today and tomorrow to record their 3-song EP/demo. After their practice, no one could make it out even though we planned to grab a drink after. One of them could make it though. I'm not going to mention specifically who because of what I want to talk about.
Lately as you know, or maybe it's not even just lately -- maybe it's more like, the early 20's. My early 20's. I'm 23 and I've found myself thinking a TON about my future. Of course, there's the usual ramblings of aspirations and goals, but then there comes that real visceral sensation of wanting something else. More like someone. I've never been in a long term relationship. It sounds odd at first for most people, and it's understandable. If I think about it objectively, it is strange to have gone this long, being a "normal" person that I am, to not have been in a long term relationship, a.k.a. a girlfriend. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. I never even notice it. Of course there are those lonely nights I notice where I wish there was someone there. Those moments where you wish there was someone to spend it with. Normal. But those times are short and forgettable. My friend and I got into a conversation about it. He's recently been in a new relationship -- the best one he's ever been in. I know him well, and there's been quite a few situations where he's been racked with loneliness. Not that he's weak in anyway, just that he was eventually beaten down by the history of the relationships he's been in. But he didn't give up, he just realized he shouldn't let himself be defined by the women he's involved with or that are in his life. Here are some song lyrics I found that defined my friend's predicament:
So the boy was cast out of Eden again.
Left by himself again.
Cursing the gods again.
Deciding for once he was enough.
He built his own world and became a man.
It's actually a Morrownow song. I know, I'm a pretty good band manager to know the lyrics. They're lucky to have me! lol. Well, I feel like I haven't come to the conclusion the person in the lyrics did as of yet. Or maybe just a tiny bit. Because I am comfortable with who I am as a person, and I don't need someone. But of course, I'd prefer to have someone. I feel like I'm on the edge though. Let's talk about why I haven't had a girlfriend for this long. Don't get me wrong either, I've had my flings. I just really... didn't meet anyone that sparked my interest that way. No one really came along, and the few that have, I've never gotten that moment where I said, "Wow. I need her in my life." I have imagined myself being that guy. No, not "that guy" in popular pictures where a random creepy looking guy is in the background of people's pictures, but that guy out there that's in his 30's-50's (of prime relationship/marriage age) that just... happened to stay single the whole time. That bachelor that you always wondered, "I wonder how he's still single at his age". I imagine sometimes that I'd be that guy living in the Lake Tahoe, CA area maybe. You know, with the truck, lumberjack jacket, his trusty Golden Retriever at his side, trusty shotgun (just kiddin'), living alone in a cabin, and snowboards all winter in the local resorts. That is, of course if I'm still single at that age. In fact, I think that's what will happen if I reach that age and have had my successes in film, and I still lack a significant other, I'd bundle all my money up and get a cabin in Lake Tahoe and live out 2/4 seasons there. But I doubt I'll be that guy, but who knows. It sure seems like it at the moment.
This has nothing to do with girl J I've been dating. It was just some real talk between the guy friend and me. It did however relate to girl J as in I -- have to be very careful that I don't settle. "Settle" with anybody to remedy loneliness. My friend says, "I could never start a relationship (girlfriend/boyfriend relationship) with a girl if I couldn't see the potential to love her." There lies the waiting game. We'll see what happens with girl J. I think I'm a pretty good catch if I may say so myself, it just seems that I've accidently avoided all the awesome girls' nets. :)
---------------------
Here's a video of my band, Morrownow at Thursday night's practice. The sound quality is pretty rough because it was in a practice studio room (tiny) and it was recorded on the video camera. It's still worth a look I think, you can still make out the guitar melodies and music. Even with the bad sound quality, tell me what you think of the band/music, and feel free to be honest! It's a song called "Siren", one out of the three they are recording. They're hitting the recording studio today, Saturday the 30th and tomorrow too. Free demos for all my blog followers?! I think SO! Let me know if you want one!
Thursday night, I went to record Morrownow's last band practice on video before they head to the recording studio today and tomorrow to record their 3-song EP/demo. After their practice, no one could make it out even though we planned to grab a drink after. One of them could make it though. I'm not going to mention specifically who because of what I want to talk about.
Lately as you know, or maybe it's not even just lately -- maybe it's more like, the early 20's. My early 20's. I'm 23 and I've found myself thinking a TON about my future. Of course, there's the usual ramblings of aspirations and goals, but then there comes that real visceral sensation of wanting something else. More like someone. I've never been in a long term relationship. It sounds odd at first for most people, and it's understandable. If I think about it objectively, it is strange to have gone this long, being a "normal" person that I am, to not have been in a long term relationship, a.k.a. a girlfriend. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. I never even notice it. Of course there are those lonely nights I notice where I wish there was someone there. Those moments where you wish there was someone to spend it with. Normal. But those times are short and forgettable. My friend and I got into a conversation about it. He's recently been in a new relationship -- the best one he's ever been in. I know him well, and there's been quite a few situations where he's been racked with loneliness. Not that he's weak in anyway, just that he was eventually beaten down by the history of the relationships he's been in. But he didn't give up, he just realized he shouldn't let himself be defined by the women he's involved with or that are in his life. Here are some song lyrics I found that defined my friend's predicament:
So the boy was cast out of Eden again.
Left by himself again.
Cursing the gods again.
Deciding for once he was enough.
He built his own world and became a man.
It's actually a Morrownow song. I know, I'm a pretty good band manager to know the lyrics. They're lucky to have me! lol. Well, I feel like I haven't come to the conclusion the person in the lyrics did as of yet. Or maybe just a tiny bit. Because I am comfortable with who I am as a person, and I don't need someone. But of course, I'd prefer to have someone. I feel like I'm on the edge though. Let's talk about why I haven't had a girlfriend for this long. Don't get me wrong either, I've had my flings. I just really... didn't meet anyone that sparked my interest that way. No one really came along, and the few that have, I've never gotten that moment where I said, "Wow. I need her in my life." I have imagined myself being that guy. No, not "that guy" in popular pictures where a random creepy looking guy is in the background of people's pictures, but that guy out there that's in his 30's-50's (of prime relationship/marriage age) that just... happened to stay single the whole time. That bachelor that you always wondered, "I wonder how he's still single at his age". I imagine sometimes that I'd be that guy living in the Lake Tahoe, CA area maybe. You know, with the truck, lumberjack jacket, his trusty Golden Retriever at his side, trusty shotgun (just kiddin'), living alone in a cabin, and snowboards all winter in the local resorts. That is, of course if I'm still single at that age. In fact, I think that's what will happen if I reach that age and have had my successes in film, and I still lack a significant other, I'd bundle all my money up and get a cabin in Lake Tahoe and live out 2/4 seasons there. But I doubt I'll be that guy, but who knows. It sure seems like it at the moment.
This has nothing to do with girl J I've been dating. It was just some real talk between the guy friend and me. It did however relate to girl J as in I -- have to be very careful that I don't settle. "Settle" with anybody to remedy loneliness. My friend says, "I could never start a relationship (girlfriend/boyfriend relationship) with a girl if I couldn't see the potential to love her." There lies the waiting game. We'll see what happens with girl J. I think I'm a pretty good catch if I may say so myself, it just seems that I've accidently avoided all the awesome girls' nets. :)
---------------------
Here's a video of my band, Morrownow at Thursday night's practice. The sound quality is pretty rough because it was in a practice studio room (tiny) and it was recorded on the video camera. It's still worth a look I think, you can still make out the guitar melodies and music. Even with the bad sound quality, tell me what you think of the band/music, and feel free to be honest! It's a song called "Siren", one out of the three they are recording. They're hitting the recording studio today, Saturday the 30th and tomorrow too. Free demos for all my blog followers?! I think SO! Let me know if you want one!
1/28/10 Practice before Demo Recording from Morrownow on Vimeo.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Banana Pancakes...
Recognize the post title as a Jack Johnson song? If you did, it t'would make you awesome. A Jack Johnson title post for a couple of reasons.
1. It was a pretty mellow weekend.
2. Girl "J"... has never heard of him. WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF HIM?! I was like, "Ohhh man. I don't think I can see you again until you learn about the AWESOME that is the Jack Johnson." And she laughed. Thus, I shall copy her a few albums of his that I own.
So we had our third date last night, Sunday. Unlike the previous two dates, she had some decisiveness to her this time around. She was usually like "I don't know. Whatever you want to do." But this time around... YAY!:
Me: What should we do on Sunday?
J: Let's watch a movie!
Me: Cool, what movie?
J: "Brothers"
Me: Okie Dokie.
So I looked up the movie in the LA area because it's been out in theaters for a while now. None within 15 miles of LA... So I looked it up with farther search parameters. The only theater still playing it was in city of Covina. About 30 miles outside of Los Angeles lol. But to me, if that's what she wants to see, then fine. That's where we'll go. I really had no problem with the distance. The 30-40 minute drive out there gave us ample time to talk too.
I noticed how easily our conversations came and how much more open she was. I'd ask her some random questions at random times such as, "Favorite... Ice cream flavor?" "Strawberry." "Chocolate or Vanilla?" "Chocolate" "Good answer." A huge plus in my book is how she's on my level humor-wise. I'm a pretty light-hearted person when it comes to conversation, so I joke around a lot, and she at least bounced off of that, caught on, and participated. Which is always nice. If people don't "get" your humor, it blows. The movie was okay. A bit dramatic for a date movie, but solid film making. As a screenwriter, it actually validated a short film script I wrote a few years ago about a guy that comes back from war and has PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder). They were similar in events, and it was nice to see a story idea similar to mine on the big screen. The showing was at 8pm so we got out at around 10. She had work today, so we called it an early night. I would've preferred to end the night sipping tea at a cafe with her and talking, but it was a better idea to take her home.
In summary, I like her. She's super cute, a sweet, all-around nice girl with her Christian sensibilities, and an intelligent, silent-strong type. Intriguing. But, she's not very expressive, thus hard to read, and is on the quiet side. Not a problem really, but I like outgoing people because I'm pretty extroverted myself. I'm not going to be too picky though. I'm just going to wait and see. What's interesting though is how she wanted to talk about our kiss from the second date. She said she thought we moved a bit too fast on that, and that we should slow it down. I agreed. I see where she's coming from, and making out like we did might turn this into something that we'd have to define pretty quick and no one wants that. So we're taking it slow. That's cool with me because like I said before, I don't want to jump into anything just to remedy loneliness.
1. It was a pretty mellow weekend.
2. Girl "J"... has never heard of him. WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF HIM?! I was like, "Ohhh man. I don't think I can see you again until you learn about the AWESOME that is the Jack Johnson." And she laughed. Thus, I shall copy her a few albums of his that I own.
So we had our third date last night, Sunday. Unlike the previous two dates, she had some decisiveness to her this time around. She was usually like "I don't know. Whatever you want to do." But this time around... YAY!:
Me: What should we do on Sunday?
J: Let's watch a movie!
Me: Cool, what movie?
J: "Brothers"
Me: Okie Dokie.
So I looked up the movie in the LA area because it's been out in theaters for a while now. None within 15 miles of LA... So I looked it up with farther search parameters. The only theater still playing it was in city of Covina. About 30 miles outside of Los Angeles lol. But to me, if that's what she wants to see, then fine. That's where we'll go. I really had no problem with the distance. The 30-40 minute drive out there gave us ample time to talk too.
I noticed how easily our conversations came and how much more open she was. I'd ask her some random questions at random times such as, "Favorite... Ice cream flavor?" "Strawberry." "Chocolate or Vanilla?" "Chocolate" "Good answer." A huge plus in my book is how she's on my level humor-wise. I'm a pretty light-hearted person when it comes to conversation, so I joke around a lot, and she at least bounced off of that, caught on, and participated. Which is always nice. If people don't "get" your humor, it blows. The movie was okay. A bit dramatic for a date movie, but solid film making. As a screenwriter, it actually validated a short film script I wrote a few years ago about a guy that comes back from war and has PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder). They were similar in events, and it was nice to see a story idea similar to mine on the big screen. The showing was at 8pm so we got out at around 10. She had work today, so we called it an early night. I would've preferred to end the night sipping tea at a cafe with her and talking, but it was a better idea to take her home.
In summary, I like her. She's super cute, a sweet, all-around nice girl with her Christian sensibilities, and an intelligent, silent-strong type. Intriguing. But, she's not very expressive, thus hard to read, and is on the quiet side. Not a problem really, but I like outgoing people because I'm pretty extroverted myself. I'm not going to be too picky though. I'm just going to wait and see. What's interesting though is how she wanted to talk about our kiss from the second date. She said she thought we moved a bit too fast on that, and that we should slow it down. I agreed. I see where she's coming from, and making out like we did might turn this into something that we'd have to define pretty quick and no one wants that. So we're taking it slow. That's cool with me because like I said before, I don't want to jump into anything just to remedy loneliness.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Fears and rain + 1st Sample "Daniel" story...
Rain...
Hey all,
Hope you guys are having a good week. I've had an "okay" week. Los Angeles is pouring. It's been rainstorm after rainstorm consistently for the past week! Certain neighborhoods are flooding and the hill people are experiencing mudslides. No biggie though. Whenever we do get extreme weather here, it's just something that goes on in the background amongst the hustle of big city life. People continue to strive towards their own pursuit of happiness. All the rain means to me is a free car wash, and fresh snow in the ski resorts. I love it. The local mountains have about 5-7 feet of fresh POWDER snow. I planned to go the past two days, including today, but haven't been able to because of not so ideal weather conditions. Apparently the local resorts are experiencing 50-70 mile an hour winds with "blizzard-like" conditions. So, it wouldn't be so fun. I'm sure I'm going tomorrow though. The storms are supposed to pass by tomorrow night, and I want to try to get some pow turns in.
Picture of some lucky dude that lives locally near the resort (Cue song: "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms):
The Road Ahead...
Hmm. The road to life. Like I said above, it's mostly about people striving for their own pursuit of happiness. Nothing else matters to some, and you can get away with that way of living and thinking in our society today. It breeds us all to get materialistic. But what I have just come to notice lately, not that I never knew before, there are people that are completely content with just getting by. There's nothing wrong with that either. They're content with providing for their families, and having "just enough", and it's noble. I'm not trying to knock it, but to me, life gives the opportunity for so much more in my eyes. There should be ambition, there should be roads less taken, that should be... taken more. I'm not trying to describe myself, but I just noticed the lack of "bigger things/goals" in other people's lives ltely. Girl "J" for example. Maybe it's from the lack of thorough, and semi-deep conversations we've had, but when I ask of what she wants to do in life, or of her ambitions, she sticks with the "I don't knows". And to me, I'm attracted to driven, focused, ambitious, strong women. We'll see what happens with her. That brings me to the meat of what's been going on in my head:
Fears...
I've come across another crossroad, that just emphasizes how big of a crossroad the one I was at previously was. lol. I pretty much took away from the previous one about a month or so ago, that I have to get started on my dreams and goals. This most recent crossroads just reiterated that point. I HAVE TO INITIATE. As I was doing one of my daily rituals and reading Men's Health magazine, I came across their listing of "Wishlist" products. You know a list of Cars, electronics, clothes, houses, and etc. I looked through them and thought to myself, "One day, I'll be able to get that." And then the immediate thought following was, "Where is this confidence coming from?" Because it's true, I have this subtle sense of confidence lurking in the background of whatever it is I do. I am well aware of capabilities, and I'm not being delusional, but it really makes me think of my future. I have all these dreams and ambitions of being successful, and it feels so close. I see all these things I want, and I feel they are actually accessible, attainable, and I don't know why I have so much confidence in that. It feels like some destiny, and I don't know what to make of it.
BUT, there are times I feel a sense of urgency and panic like, "You need to do it now! It's getting too late!" Like the Universe is yelling at me. It's like spurts of sudden desperation, and it's un-easing as hell. What the hell am I supposed to make of it? I agree with the stars though, there is an underlying urgency. The days, minutes, and seconds are flying by and I should buckle down and take advantage of every one. I think the pursuit of happiness (defined by ourselves) is the driving force in our lives. Mine is to succeed in telling people stories. Happiness to me is NOT money. But Happiness to me is being able to live freely, unbound by restrictions such as the lack of money. I want to do things, go places, all as I please and to my heart's content. That way, the only thing we fight against in our lives is Time. Ambition, get some.
Here's a chunk of a story I'm working on. I don't know if it's going to just be a short yet, but I'm writing it as I would a novel. It's only a couple of days old and it's not finished in the least. It's completely unedited.:
The beaten and weathered white pickup truck trudged to a squeaky stop on 6th street. The sound of rushing air through the crack of the window slowly silenced and were replaced by the sounds of MacArthur Park. The old man's cracked, sun-baked, farm hands released their grip on the steering wheel and worked the truck's gears. He didn't want to wake the sleeping young man, a mere boy in his eyes, in the passenger seat. Instead, he sat quietly and waited. He fixated his old eyes onto his own worn hands. In his years of experience, life ran by for many, but it walked by slowly for people like him. People who had to live day by day, for the next day. There was nothing else. Nothing but providing for the next day. He had lived his years working, striving to survive and provide for his own. He wasn't sure he succeeded either. After all these years of providing for the next generation, it suddenly felt futile to him as he looked over at the boy in the seat next to him. The silent camaraderie between them reverberated as the old man thought, "This boy. Will struggle."
Due to the sudden calmness, the young man awoke in the surreal, in between dreams. Besides the fog in his mind his conscience fought through, his whole situation was surreal to him. His goal, motivations, everything; was in between dreams.
The sweat from his brow dripped, salting his lips. He opened his eyes, feeling the sickly warmth of the sun and the sweaty shirt that stuck to him. He must've slept all the way from San Diego. He needed it. He looked over to the old man who was staring at his hands. Daniel spoke, "Thank you for the ride." (In Spanish). The old man looked up and nodded. Daniel had made it. He was now in Los Angeles, to try to do what many try to do.
Hey all,
Hope you guys are having a good week. I've had an "okay" week. Los Angeles is pouring. It's been rainstorm after rainstorm consistently for the past week! Certain neighborhoods are flooding and the hill people are experiencing mudslides. No biggie though. Whenever we do get extreme weather here, it's just something that goes on in the background amongst the hustle of big city life. People continue to strive towards their own pursuit of happiness. All the rain means to me is a free car wash, and fresh snow in the ski resorts. I love it. The local mountains have about 5-7 feet of fresh POWDER snow. I planned to go the past two days, including today, but haven't been able to because of not so ideal weather conditions. Apparently the local resorts are experiencing 50-70 mile an hour winds with "blizzard-like" conditions. So, it wouldn't be so fun. I'm sure I'm going tomorrow though. The storms are supposed to pass by tomorrow night, and I want to try to get some pow turns in.
Picture of some lucky dude that lives locally near the resort (Cue song: "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms):
The Road Ahead...
Hmm. The road to life. Like I said above, it's mostly about people striving for their own pursuit of happiness. Nothing else matters to some, and you can get away with that way of living and thinking in our society today. It breeds us all to get materialistic. But what I have just come to notice lately, not that I never knew before, there are people that are completely content with just getting by. There's nothing wrong with that either. They're content with providing for their families, and having "just enough", and it's noble. I'm not trying to knock it, but to me, life gives the opportunity for so much more in my eyes. There should be ambition, there should be roads less taken, that should be... taken more. I'm not trying to describe myself, but I just noticed the lack of "bigger things/goals" in other people's lives ltely. Girl "J" for example. Maybe it's from the lack of thorough, and semi-deep conversations we've had, but when I ask of what she wants to do in life, or of her ambitions, she sticks with the "I don't knows". And to me, I'm attracted to driven, focused, ambitious, strong women. We'll see what happens with her. That brings me to the meat of what's been going on in my head:
Fears...
I've come across another crossroad, that just emphasizes how big of a crossroad the one I was at previously was. lol. I pretty much took away from the previous one about a month or so ago, that I have to get started on my dreams and goals. This most recent crossroads just reiterated that point. I HAVE TO INITIATE. As I was doing one of my daily rituals and reading Men's Health magazine, I came across their listing of "Wishlist" products. You know a list of Cars, electronics, clothes, houses, and etc. I looked through them and thought to myself, "One day, I'll be able to get that." And then the immediate thought following was, "Where is this confidence coming from?" Because it's true, I have this subtle sense of confidence lurking in the background of whatever it is I do. I am well aware of capabilities, and I'm not being delusional, but it really makes me think of my future. I have all these dreams and ambitions of being successful, and it feels so close. I see all these things I want, and I feel they are actually accessible, attainable, and I don't know why I have so much confidence in that. It feels like some destiny, and I don't know what to make of it.
BUT, there are times I feel a sense of urgency and panic like, "You need to do it now! It's getting too late!" Like the Universe is yelling at me. It's like spurts of sudden desperation, and it's un-easing as hell. What the hell am I supposed to make of it? I agree with the stars though, there is an underlying urgency. The days, minutes, and seconds are flying by and I should buckle down and take advantage of every one. I think the pursuit of happiness (defined by ourselves) is the driving force in our lives. Mine is to succeed in telling people stories. Happiness to me is NOT money. But Happiness to me is being able to live freely, unbound by restrictions such as the lack of money. I want to do things, go places, all as I please and to my heart's content. That way, the only thing we fight against in our lives is Time. Ambition, get some.
Here's a chunk of a story I'm working on. I don't know if it's going to just be a short yet, but I'm writing it as I would a novel. It's only a couple of days old and it's not finished in the least. It's completely unedited.:
The beaten and weathered white pickup truck trudged to a squeaky stop on 6th street. The sound of rushing air through the crack of the window slowly silenced and were replaced by the sounds of MacArthur Park. The old man's cracked, sun-baked, farm hands released their grip on the steering wheel and worked the truck's gears. He didn't want to wake the sleeping young man, a mere boy in his eyes, in the passenger seat. Instead, he sat quietly and waited. He fixated his old eyes onto his own worn hands. In his years of experience, life ran by for many, but it walked by slowly for people like him. People who had to live day by day, for the next day. There was nothing else. Nothing but providing for the next day. He had lived his years working, striving to survive and provide for his own. He wasn't sure he succeeded either. After all these years of providing for the next generation, it suddenly felt futile to him as he looked over at the boy in the seat next to him. The silent camaraderie between them reverberated as the old man thought, "This boy. Will struggle."
Due to the sudden calmness, the young man awoke in the surreal, in between dreams. Besides the fog in his mind his conscience fought through, his whole situation was surreal to him. His goal, motivations, everything; was in between dreams.
The sweat from his brow dripped, salting his lips. He opened his eyes, feeling the sickly warmth of the sun and the sweaty shirt that stuck to him. He must've slept all the way from San Diego. He needed it. He looked over to the old man who was staring at his hands. Daniel spoke, "Thank you for the ride." (In Spanish). The old man looked up and nodded. Daniel had made it. He was now in Los Angeles, to try to do what many try to do.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Fingerprints...
Herro. So here I am weakened and withered in the aftermath of a great, epic battle. My Immune System vs. a Cold Virus. Either my immune system was kicking ass and taking names, or it was a really annoyingly weak cold. It never got severe or bad (fever and such), it just lingered in the background, being super annoying. Anyway, I've been stuck at home from the 6th to the 13th fighting off the cold. There's still some lingering congestion, but that will go away. As you could imagine, I was bored out of my mind! It also prevented me from seeing girl, "J". After two straight weekends of hanging out, that weekend of not seeing her felt sort of weird. Weird only because our second date went so well, it felt like an "Uh-oh! we're going to lose momentum!" kind of deal. And then even this weekend, we didn't plan to hang out either. She's busy with some family time, but we've been texting back and forth once in a while. She's not one of those full-conversations-through-texting sort of people. That's okay though, I already know a couple of those and they can keep my thumbs pretty busy. So that's a full two weeks where I haven't seen her.
Well, with the down-time I had, it gave me some perspective. Even though J seems great and all, I really want to be careful and go slow. I can't "settle". Settle as in, letting myself fall for someone that's not very "right" for me. Why? Because honestly, I'm in a stage at the moment where I'm lonely. Not a depressed-lonely, No. Just the regular lonely. All my friends at the moment are in relationships, and you know -- I'm at that age and stage of my life where I also want to be with someone. Someone to lean on, relate to, and just to experience that warm, toasty feeling in the chest that you get when someone you care about is there with you. To share the moments and time together with. Another warm body. Someone that leaves their fingerprints on your heart. (That last bit about the fingerprints comes from the lyrics of a Morrownow song called, "Fingerprints" on the "Courting a Fall" album on iTunes... by the way. lol. For real though! Not shameless plugging! I swears it.) I've never had any long-term relationships really, so it'd be a nice change. I'm just going to take it as slow as possible. 'Tis all.
Morrownow Update:
So there's been a lot of progress with the band this past month. Well, we had those two photoshoots done during the month of December, and we got our finished and edited photos from the 1st shoot back. The 2nd is taking a little longer than expected, but it should be pretty awesome. The 1st ones came out great though. I edited a short video of the shoot that includes some of the photos in the video, and some pretty hilarious moments that happened within. Be sure to give the video a watch, and tell me what you think. Feedback on any work I do is you know -- awesome. They're planning to record their first EP album of 3 songs at the end of this month on the 30th, and 31st. It takes about a week of turn around -- to edit the music and put it through production. After that, I'll be finding the guys their very first gigs to play in February. No doubt I'll film that and cut it into video also. Exciting times to come! It feels great to be part of something with my best friends, developing, and progressing as a group in something like the music business. I'll keep you guys posted here for sure, but take a look at the Morrownow Blog too when you get a chance at: Morrownow.com
Have a great week everyone! It's apparently going to rain here in Los Angeles all week, so I have no doubt I'll be snowboarding sometime this week.
Well, with the down-time I had, it gave me some perspective. Even though J seems great and all, I really want to be careful and go slow. I can't "settle". Settle as in, letting myself fall for someone that's not very "right" for me. Why? Because honestly, I'm in a stage at the moment where I'm lonely. Not a depressed-lonely, No. Just the regular lonely. All my friends at the moment are in relationships, and you know -- I'm at that age and stage of my life where I also want to be with someone. Someone to lean on, relate to, and just to experience that warm, toasty feeling in the chest that you get when someone you care about is there with you. To share the moments and time together with. Another warm body. Someone that leaves their fingerprints on your heart. (That last bit about the fingerprints comes from the lyrics of a Morrownow song called, "Fingerprints" on the "Courting a Fall" album on iTunes... by the way. lol. For real though! Not shameless plugging! I swears it.) I've never had any long-term relationships really, so it'd be a nice change. I'm just going to take it as slow as possible. 'Tis all.
Morrownow Update:
So there's been a lot of progress with the band this past month. Well, we had those two photoshoots done during the month of December, and we got our finished and edited photos from the 1st shoot back. The 2nd is taking a little longer than expected, but it should be pretty awesome. The 1st ones came out great though. I edited a short video of the shoot that includes some of the photos in the video, and some pretty hilarious moments that happened within. Be sure to give the video a watch, and tell me what you think. Feedback on any work I do is you know -- awesome. They're planning to record their first EP album of 3 songs at the end of this month on the 30th, and 31st. It takes about a week of turn around -- to edit the music and put it through production. After that, I'll be finding the guys their very first gigs to play in February. No doubt I'll film that and cut it into video also. Exciting times to come! It feels great to be part of something with my best friends, developing, and progressing as a group in something like the music business. I'll keep you guys posted here for sure, but take a look at the Morrownow Blog too when you get a chance at: Morrownow.com
Have a great week everyone! It's apparently going to rain here in Los Angeles all week, so I have no doubt I'll be snowboarding sometime this week.
Photoshoot with Ryan Guzdzial 12.1.09 from Morrownow on Vimeo.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The New Year and Second Dates...
The New Year. Wow, we're in the double digits now. It doesn't seem that long ago where I thought it was cool that I was graduating from middle school in the year 2000. Everyone sees this as a fresh start and that's great, but I'm also taking a new notice of things I haven't accomplished in the past year. They're basically all getting copied and pasted onto the list of things to do for 2010. Typing out "2010" is weird. Most of the time, my New Year's Resolutions is just a list of things to accomplish in life, and not just for the year ahead. But the way I'm thinking of it is to actually try to get a start on, and maybe even accomplish them all this year. I mean it's do-able. Depending on your list. My Oscar for best screenplay might have to wait a bit. That may be the only thing on the list where I can say, "Oh, I can do that 10 years from now". And that's getting lucky. Way lucky if I do...
(Um. I literally just forgot how old I was right now. I'm 23, but I thought for a good few seconds that I was 24. How weird is that?)
Strangely motivating isn't it? And funny. I think it'd be funnier if they put a " ! " at the end of where it says, "...you're going to die". Without an exclamation point, it seems sort of dark and emo. The power of grammatical symbols!
Writing...
I talk quite a bit about writing, and I know I haven't posted many samples. I wouldn't really even call them samples either. They're just "writings". But I'm working on a few things right now that I feel confident enough in to show soon. In the meantime, I feel like I have to read for myself, and tell of WHY I like to write. WHY I would like to write for film.
Film is amazing to me. From a societal aspect, media is practically a staple. Film has been that staple for most of the era of mass media. During times of war, and other difficult times, people would flock to the theaters to be informed, and entertained, for a good couple of hours. That's a huge chunk of someone's day if you think about it. To be engaged and dedicated to a character's predicament, their journey, and finally their resolution for two whole hours? Completely forgetting about your own life? Living vicariously through a fictional character's? Cool. I think that's really cool. Writing for all these people hoping to be entertained and intrigued, gives me the ability to tell a story I come up with, and how I want it to be told. That's a cool ability. I can make the audience feel, I can trigger emotions, and most intriguing of all, I can show them meanings and messages. Undoubtedly what we see in films influence us. Think "Schindler's List". And of course it's not to attempt to feel some kind of godly power, No. It's about being able to tell a story and have the audience engage and feel something visceral from what they're watching. It's the best part of story telling.
The Second Date with J...
What a surprise. If you read my last post of my First date with J, you could tell by the end I wasn't very optimistic. Well, I'm just as surprised as you are to find that the second date was... awesome. Yeah, that's the only word I can use to describe it. I guess I'll go play by play:
So I asked if she'd like to hang out Friday night, but she said she had a migraine and wanted to hang out Saturday instead. I actually planned to hang with my friend Travis who was only in town until Monday that night though. However, I agreed to see her Saturday. A few hours before the date, and just like last time, she texted me and asked if I'd like to hang with some mutual friends of ours that are looking to do something. Naturally, I immediately figure that she's just really not interested in a one on one date. All signs pointed to that clearly because for both these dates, she suggested a group thing. I was on the brink of cancelling, but she texts me back and tells me that they all cancelled. Why did I go through with the date? I don't know. But I did.
I waited outside of my car for her, was greeted with a hug, and I opened/closed the door for her. Then as I got in, I was just my joking, light-hearted self, and she actually started to bounce off of that and reciprocated her own joking personality (I didn't know she had one. Our first date was pretty bland). It actually turned into really funny, good, conversation. I know, I was surprised too. What's funny was that her blackberry was almost out of battery so she resisted using it. But at least she wasn't consistently texting this time around.
On the drive over to play mini-golf(she's never been), her friend W calls her to let her know that she finally got off of work and was wondering if she'd like to hang out. She found out J was on a date and said nevermind(how come the rest of J's friends aren't like W?). I remembered myself, Travis wanting to hang out so then I took the opportunity to suggest we all do something as a group. Strange how things worked out that way. She agreed, and we made it happen. After a quick pick up of Travis, we ended up on quite the fun adventure of finding W's place. We got a little lost, but it was fun. Travis really accentuated my personality with the conversations, and he was a pretty awesome wingman. When W entered the picture, her and Travis hit it off right away. Too bad they're both in relationships. It was a bit too late for mini-golf, so we walked around the Westwood Village/UCLA area with some Starbucks Frappuccinos,(I know. It's not cold here, be jealous)took some funny pictures, and some very sweet pictures in... What do ya know? An alley. No worries, it was clean fun. After our camera phone session, we walked over to a bar and had a couple of drinks. Between the four of us, we all had a great time. Good conversation, many-a-jokes, and a moment here and there between J and I. After the bar closed, we decided to drive along the beach on the way to taking W home. Even though this upcoming part is very corny, and pretty cliche, I'm going to tell you guys anyways. You guys are THAT cool.
We ended up stopping by the Santa Monica Beach Pier. Yeah you have it right: 2 in the morning with blinking, pretty, lights from a closed off Ferris wheel, lights from the pier flickering, and of course the ambient sounds of the waves crashing. Very cheesy. Extremely cheesy. But, it worked out. We split up and J and I had some time together. There were a few moments of stressed conversation, and obvious times where I should've kissed her, but I hesitated. Why? Because she's so subtle. She's so hard to read! She's not shy, but she's very coy. Coy to the point, where I didn't even know what she thought of me, my looks, etc. So being the inquisitive, and honestly, the sensitive sap I am, I chose to ask her this in the sweetest way possible when I built up some courage: "I'd really like to kiss you right now...(dramatic pause) but I feel like I should ask... what do you think about that?" She looked up at me with her big, brown eyes as the wind brushed hair into her face while we stood, err... in the "Pier Smoking Area"(it was the only secluded corner! lol) and said ever so slowly, "I think you should go for it... yeah, you should just go for it." "Go for it huh?" "Ye- " Then first kiss ensued. Quite a turn of events if I may say so myself. I eventually took everyone home, J last, and kissed her goodnight. (Hope you enjoyed the last bit of cheesy romance novel-esque descriptions. A first kiss on a pier at night is pretty cheesy but for this date, I'll let it slide.)
Conclusion:
1. She's into me.
2. She's subtle, coy, and hard to read. But that's okay. I'm just going to have to suck it up and be confident.
3. She's very friend-oriented like me. Her suggestions of hanging out with others never meant anything else besides having a good time with friends. So I guess I can't read into her like I normally can with other girls.
4. Definitely going to see her again and see where this goes.
5. Goal: Take it super slow.
(Um. I literally just forgot how old I was right now. I'm 23, but I thought for a good few seconds that I was 24. How weird is that?)
Strangely motivating isn't it? And funny. I think it'd be funnier if they put a " ! " at the end of where it says, "...you're going to die". Without an exclamation point, it seems sort of dark and emo. The power of grammatical symbols!Writing...
I talk quite a bit about writing, and I know I haven't posted many samples. I wouldn't really even call them samples either. They're just "writings". But I'm working on a few things right now that I feel confident enough in to show soon. In the meantime, I feel like I have to read for myself, and tell of WHY I like to write. WHY I would like to write for film.
Film is amazing to me. From a societal aspect, media is practically a staple. Film has been that staple for most of the era of mass media. During times of war, and other difficult times, people would flock to the theaters to be informed, and entertained, for a good couple of hours. That's a huge chunk of someone's day if you think about it. To be engaged and dedicated to a character's predicament, their journey, and finally their resolution for two whole hours? Completely forgetting about your own life? Living vicariously through a fictional character's? Cool. I think that's really cool. Writing for all these people hoping to be entertained and intrigued, gives me the ability to tell a story I come up with, and how I want it to be told. That's a cool ability. I can make the audience feel, I can trigger emotions, and most intriguing of all, I can show them meanings and messages. Undoubtedly what we see in films influence us. Think "Schindler's List". And of course it's not to attempt to feel some kind of godly power, No. It's about being able to tell a story and have the audience engage and feel something visceral from what they're watching. It's the best part of story telling.
The Second Date with J...
What a surprise. If you read my last post of my First date with J, you could tell by the end I wasn't very optimistic. Well, I'm just as surprised as you are to find that the second date was... awesome. Yeah, that's the only word I can use to describe it. I guess I'll go play by play:
So I asked if she'd like to hang out Friday night, but she said she had a migraine and wanted to hang out Saturday instead. I actually planned to hang with my friend Travis who was only in town until Monday that night though. However, I agreed to see her Saturday. A few hours before the date, and just like last time, she texted me and asked if I'd like to hang with some mutual friends of ours that are looking to do something. Naturally, I immediately figure that she's just really not interested in a one on one date. All signs pointed to that clearly because for both these dates, she suggested a group thing. I was on the brink of cancelling, but she texts me back and tells me that they all cancelled. Why did I go through with the date? I don't know. But I did.
I waited outside of my car for her, was greeted with a hug, and I opened/closed the door for her. Then as I got in, I was just my joking, light-hearted self, and she actually started to bounce off of that and reciprocated her own joking personality (I didn't know she had one. Our first date was pretty bland). It actually turned into really funny, good, conversation. I know, I was surprised too. What's funny was that her blackberry was almost out of battery so she resisted using it. But at least she wasn't consistently texting this time around.
On the drive over to play mini-golf(she's never been), her friend W calls her to let her know that she finally got off of work and was wondering if she'd like to hang out. She found out J was on a date and said nevermind(how come the rest of J's friends aren't like W?). I remembered myself, Travis wanting to hang out so then I took the opportunity to suggest we all do something as a group. Strange how things worked out that way. She agreed, and we made it happen. After a quick pick up of Travis, we ended up on quite the fun adventure of finding W's place. We got a little lost, but it was fun. Travis really accentuated my personality with the conversations, and he was a pretty awesome wingman. When W entered the picture, her and Travis hit it off right away. Too bad they're both in relationships. It was a bit too late for mini-golf, so we walked around the Westwood Village/UCLA area with some Starbucks Frappuccinos,(I know. It's not cold here, be jealous)took some funny pictures, and some very sweet pictures in... What do ya know? An alley. No worries, it was clean fun. After our camera phone session, we walked over to a bar and had a couple of drinks. Between the four of us, we all had a great time. Good conversation, many-a-jokes, and a moment here and there between J and I. After the bar closed, we decided to drive along the beach on the way to taking W home. Even though this upcoming part is very corny, and pretty cliche, I'm going to tell you guys anyways. You guys are THAT cool.
We ended up stopping by the Santa Monica Beach Pier. Yeah you have it right: 2 in the morning with blinking, pretty, lights from a closed off Ferris wheel, lights from the pier flickering, and of course the ambient sounds of the waves crashing. Very cheesy. Extremely cheesy. But, it worked out. We split up and J and I had some time together. There were a few moments of stressed conversation, and obvious times where I should've kissed her, but I hesitated. Why? Because she's so subtle. She's so hard to read! She's not shy, but she's very coy. Coy to the point, where I didn't even know what she thought of me, my looks, etc. So being the inquisitive, and honestly, the sensitive sap I am, I chose to ask her this in the sweetest way possible when I built up some courage: "I'd really like to kiss you right now...(dramatic pause) but I feel like I should ask... what do you think about that?" She looked up at me with her big, brown eyes as the wind brushed hair into her face while we stood, err... in the "Pier Smoking Area"(it was the only secluded corner! lol) and said ever so slowly, "I think you should go for it... yeah, you should just go for it." "Go for it huh?" "Ye- " Then first kiss ensued. Quite a turn of events if I may say so myself. I eventually took everyone home, J last, and kissed her goodnight. (Hope you enjoyed the last bit of cheesy romance novel-esque descriptions. A first kiss on a pier at night is pretty cheesy but for this date, I'll let it slide.)
Conclusion:
1. She's into me.
2. She's subtle, coy, and hard to read. But that's okay. I'm just going to have to suck it up and be confident.
3. She's very friend-oriented like me. Her suggestions of hanging out with others never meant anything else besides having a good time with friends. So I guess I can't read into her like I normally can with other girls.
4. Definitely going to see her again and see where this goes.
5. Goal: Take it super slow.
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